


Q & A: Nature and Nurture

by Bright_Elen



Series: Q & A [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Banter, Canon-Typical Violence, Dialogue-Only, Gen, M/M, Pet Ownership - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22635220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bright_Elen/pseuds/Bright_Elen
Summary: Get well soon, beetle! Rest up and respond when you have the spoons. <3
Relationships: Cassian Andor & K-2SO, Cassian Andor/K-2SO
Series: Q & A [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628287
Comments: 87
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beetle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beetle/gifts).



> Get well soon, beetle! Rest up and respond when you have the spoons. <3

"Stay back!"

"Why? Is there an enemy on the ship?"

"Not exactly."

"Then why are you taking cover and changing your blaster to rifle configuration?"

"I didn't get a good look at it. Some kind of big lizard."

"You're in a shoot-out with a reptile? Is it armed?" 

"I don't want to get too close. There were a lot of spikes. Probably venomous."

"Amusing as this is, we do need the ship. I'll just go remove it, shall I?"

"...Be careful."

* * *

"Hello, small reptilian nuisance. You cannot stay here."

_"Hsssssss."_

"I will not harm you. I will put you back into your native habitat. Assuming you are not an invasive species. In that case, I will put you back in your recently-conquered habitat. Please do not resist." 

_"HSSSSSS."_

"You see? I am made of durasteel. You cannot harm me with your teeth or claws or venom spines. There, there." 

"Hsssssss." 

"Kay? Are you alright?" 

"Of course. I think it likes me." 

"It does look…calmer." 

"I will take it outside. No, you may not hurt Cassian. Nor do you need to. He will not hurt you if you do not attack. Will he."

"I think _you_ like _it."_

"I seem to have a weakness for small, defensive organics."

"Ha kriffing ha. Just get rid of it." 

A sigh. "Very well."

* * *

"I found it's nest."

"And yet it's still on your shoulder."

"There was evidence of a struggle. Blood and the scales of other creatures like this one. Smashed eggs. The size of the shell fragments indicates that this one is a juvenile."

"So?"

"If it does not instinctively know how to hunt, it cannot learn, since the parent is dead."

"...no. No. It's not our problem." 

"It is very small. It can't eat much." 

"Are you serious."

"We are stationed here for a month, Cassian. This will keep me from getting bored. Remember the last time I was bored?" 

"All too well. Fine. You can keep it while we're here. But we can't take it back to Base One." 

"I knew you'd see reason. Eventually." 

"Just keep it out of my bunk." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Narrator: It got into his bunk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this is still intelligible with five characters (though one being a lizard and the other speaking in «Binary» should help). If it's too confusing, let me know and I'll play around with fonts or color-coding or something.
> 
> Enjoy!

"Captain Andor." 

"General Syndulla. Thank you for making the detour." 

"Can't leave our best intel guy without supplies." 

"It's appreciated, all the same. How's Phoenix squadron?"

"We've been better. The Empire has been putting up blockades faster than any of us can—"

«WAAAH! WHAT THE DOSHING— I'M UNDER ATTACK!»

"Chopper! Are you— What the— Hold still!"

_ "HSSSSSSSSSSSS." _

«GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF»

"Wait, General, don't shoot. It looks vicious but it's mostly show. KAY!"

"My auditory sensors are working fine, Cassian, you don't have to yell." 

«GET IT OFF.»

"Oh. I see the problem. I will remove her."

_ "KSSSK!" _

"Chop, stop moving so we can help you!"

«I'd like to see YOU hold still with a lizard on your face, Hera!»

"Please maintain a safe distance, General. She might transfer her attack to you, and you are eighty-one percent more likely to be injured than a droid."

"Duly noted. … 'She'?"

"Yeah. He did some research and decided it's probably a female."

"Do stop flailing your manipulators. It isn't accomplishing anything except agitating the venomous reptile further."

«I'LL AGITATE YOUR FACE PLATE»

"Are you telling me your droid adopted a pet?"

"Regrettably."

"Your  _ security  _ droid."

"Mm-hm."

"Your over two meters tall security droid, who hates everything but weapons, math, and you?"

"General, please. I'm well aware of the irony."

«Karking FINALLY.»

"Shh, small venomous reptile, you are safe now."

"Krrrrr."

"What did he name it?"

"Oh stars, don't give him ideas!"

"What ideas would those be, Cassian?"

"It's your pet, isn't it? Pets have names. It's easier and more specific than saying 'venomous reptile' over and over. And most people think of their pets as family."

"I am not certain that my status as primary caregiver to the venomous reptile makes us 'family,' but I agree with your first reason. I will call her See-tu."

"...Oh no."

«HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!»

"Shush, Chopper, don't be rude. I think it's sweet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, he named her C-2. As in a mash-up of his name with Cassian's. Or as in Cassian 2.


	3. Chapter 3

"Kay. Come look."

"Have more of those avians nested in the engines again?"

"No. Sunset."

"Oh. That is...extraordinary. I haven't seen that combination of colors in an atmosphere before."

"Me neither."

"Thank you. This is highly enjoyable. More so for sharing it with you." 

"You're welcome." 

Several minutes of silence. A quiet kiss.

"That is also enjoyable." 

"Mm." An inhale. Several less-quiet kisses. "Get down here, I can't reach."

"You are already aware that my face place does not have external sensors. I will not be able to feel you touch me there." 

"I know. I wanted to try touching your antennae, if that's okay."

"Oh. Yes. I want to try that."

"I think, if I stroke it like this…"

"Oh.  _ Oh. _ C͡a̕s͞si͢a̛n̕!̢"

"Good?"

"Yes, th̡a͏t͜ f͘e̛e͟l͢s͘—"

_ "KSSK! KSSK! HSSSSSSK!" _

"Shit! What the hell?"

"See-tu, no! This is bad behavior. You may not attack Cassian!"

"HSSSS."

"No. I am not in danger. Cassian is not an enemy. You may not harm him!"

"Krrrr? RRRrrrr kk kk k."

A sigh. "Yes, I know my vocabulator was outputting different sounds than you have experienced."

"Hrrr."

"You coddle that thing." 

"I believe she thought you were attacking me." 

"If she's going to do that every time I'm close to you, I'm gonna put her in a cage." 

"That will not help convince her that such circumstances are benign."

"If you have a better idea, I'm all ears." 

"...I will research the problem." 


	4. Chapter 4

"Is that a KX? What in blazes is it doing out here?"

"I dunno. What should we do?"

"It's moving strangely. Stun it, then we can go get a better look." 

"The Commander isn't gonna be happy if we're late."

"She'll be a lot less happy if we leave a KX just wandering around for some Rebels to hijack!"

"Okay, okay."

The bark of an ion blast. The thud of a heavy object hitting the ground.

"Nice shot."

Footsteps.

"Is that a signal jammer?"

"With my own modifications. A fair sight better than a restraining bolt."

"Seems simpler to just shoot them."

"And that's why you're not Intel. Just cover me."

"Sir, yes, sir."

A scoff. A few minutes of silence. "Stars, I can't even tell what programming language this is. Who bloody wrote this? I'm not sure I'll even be able to—"

_"KSSSSK!"_

"AAAAAH!"

"Sir?!" 

"It BIT me! Karking little monster— BEHIND YOU!"

Another blaster shot, very close. Full power. Another, softer thud. "Hands in the air."

_"Krrrrrgh!"_

"Good girl."

A groan. "That thing's your _pet_?"

"Whatever you did to him, undo it."

"Who? The _droid?_ I didn't have time to— do anything but look."

"What's that device, then?"

"Custom scrambler."

 _"Remove_ it."

A few clumsy, metallic scrapes. "There." A gulping breath. "Done." 

"Hm. That wound already looks nasty. I wouldn't move too much if I were you."

A pause. "Are you going to— shoot me or not?"

Several taps. "If you broke him, you're going to fix him."

"What makes you— think I'll help rebel— _scum_ like you?"

"I have antivenin. I'll give it to you once I'm satisfied he's okay."

"Maybe I'll— shoot you— and wait for— my medic."

"I'm willing to bet your arm they won't have what you need. Are you?"

"Schutta."

More clicks.

A grunt.

_"KSK! KSK!"_

A cry of pain.

"I told you not to move."

More heavy breathing, with increasingly frequent whimpers.

The hum of a hard drive, then processors, then internal fans.

"Cassian, why am I on the ground?"

"Kay! Bendita sea."

"Krrrrrr!"

"Hello, See-tu. I see you've discovered Cassian's shoulders. Did you two resolve your differences?"

"Are you alright? What's the last thing you remember?" 

"You were checking the feeds in the ship, which was boring, so I was going to take See-tu to the stream. It appears I was ambushed en route. Is that corpse the one who shot me?"

"Yeah. Run a systems check. The other one was trying to mess with your code."

"That's not— code. It's— a— disaster."

"Hksss!"

Another wimper.

"Scan initiated. Oh, my. That's a very interesting reaction. I was unaware human skin could take on that shade or texture."

"Same here. You should save images for the medics."

"May— you— die— screaming."

"Kssss."

"Scan complete. I have suffered some damage to my circuitry and lost fourteen point two minutes of temporary memory, but there are no viruses or other changes to my programming."

A third, final blaster shot. No more whimpering.

"We have to move. They could have commed someone."

"Yes. The tertiary site should still be secure."

Footsteps.

"You good to fly?"

"Yes. Most of the damaged circuits are in my cooling system."

"Good. Prep the engines and I'll strike camp."

"Acknowledged."

"And find some way for See-tu to ride strapped down. Last thing we need is to crash because she jumped on me."

"I am pleased to see that I correctly predicted that you would grow to appreciate her."

"Don't get used to it."

* * *

Engines humming. A throttle engaged. Controls adjusted.

Metal-on-metal footsteps.

A muffled, shaky exhale.

"I am alright, Cassian."

"Krrrrt?"

"You want in on the hug too, eh? Well, today you deserve it."

"Prrrrrp!"

"Cassian?"

"Hm?"

"I'm getting used to it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please imagine: C-2, spiky and toothy, resting happily in a baby seat in the U-wing.


	5. Chapter 5

"Krrrp! Grrrk! Khssssssss!"

"What's wrong, See-tu? Are you injured?"

"Krrr!" 

"There, there. Hm. You have loose skin on your nose. You do not like that, do you? I cannot blame you. I would detest it immensely if I could feel damage to my plating."

"Prrk."

"Hm. The texture and edges of my plating seem to be helping you shed. I am glad to be able to soothe you. I still do not understand itching but it sounds horrible." 

"Prrrrr?"

"Yes, you may stay. Your presence will not affect my ability to project different scenarios." 

* * *

"Oh, no. Cassian!"

"Kay! What's wrong?"

"See-tu molted."

"Ah. That looks...uncomfortable."

"Don't act so amused. This is horrible."

"You look worse than that time on Kashyyyk."

"Kashyyyk only affected twenty-one percent of my surface area. This is closer to sixty-eight percent."

"No, don't move. I'll get the vac."

"It's going to take more than the vac to get all of this... _ skin _ out of my crevices."

"I'm impressed. She shed the whole thing all at once?" 

"It was over a period of hours."

"Why did you let her use your plating?"

"She came to me uncomfortable. I helped her scratch away the skin on her nose. Then she settled down on my pelvic assembly. I had work to do and put my optics into sleep mode. Apparently she took advantage of my inattention."

"That was very sweet of you. Dumb, but sweet."

"You can stop laughing any time." 

"Says the droid who laughed at me the whole time he was picking burrs off of me on Ryloth. And those hurt." 

"I didn't laugh the whole time. Getting them all off of you took nearly forty minutes." 

"I can always just leave the vac here for you. It's almost time for me to put in an appearance at the cantina." 

"Fine. I'm very sorry I laughed at your fragile organic body and deeply amusing pain response."

"Krrr?"

"Hello, See-tu. Look how pretty you are today!"

"I suppose her new scales are seventy-two percent more lustrous than her old ones. Little menace." 

"Krrrp!"

"You upset Kay, you know. But it's okay, he understands the consequences of adopting a reptile and thought everything through in the beginning." 

"Mmmmrk."

"You've made your point, Cassian."

"Are you sure?"

"Just start the vac, please."


	6. Chapter 6

"Captain."

"General."

"Your latest mission report indicated that you acquired an exotic weapon."

"That's right."

"And yet, according to the ship's manifest, the only addition to your cargo was a lizard."

"Also true."

A deep sigh. "A lizard, Andor, is not a weapon."

"On the contrary, sir: she's already incapacitated an Imperial slicer."

"You think we'll be sending it into the field? Embedding it in a strike team, perhaps?"

"Of course not, sir. But she produces a venom highly toxic to humans."

"We already have poisons, Andor."

"Of course, General. But I shared images of the symptoms with Doctor Javal, who said she'd never seen anything like it. It's likely that the Empire hasn't encountered it before, either, which could give us an advantage."

"Can we counter it? A weapon we can't disarm is no good to us." 

"Kay-tu has already developed an antivenin for our operatives."

"Your security droid. Bioengineered. Antivenin."

"I've already submitted samples to Medical. I'm sure they'll test it thoroughly." 

A measured inhalation. "For the sake of argument, let's say I'm willing to entertain the idea. It has to be contained at all times. I won't risk my people's health." 

"Kay-tu drew up plans to modify one of those wrecked shipping containers no one's been able to salvage." 

"Food?"

"Wild rodents set loose in her enclosure."

"Cleaning?"

"Kay-tu will take care of it."

"He has other duties."

"Thus far most of his work on-base has been analysis. He's proven time and again that he can perform other tasks during analysis."

A long pause. "I want the plans for the enclosure within the hour."

"Yes, sir." 

"And, Andor?"

"Sir?"

"Next time, try to remember that we only recruit sentient beings."


	7. Chapter 7

"Finding my center…opening my mind to other life...not spooking whatever's coming closer...and...okay, that's definitely not a loth-cat."

"Kshk?"

"Yeah, it's okay, I'm not going to hurt you."

"Prrrrk."

"Wow, you're really friendly!"

«How the  _ kriff—  _ »

"KSSSK."

"Woah, hey, it's okay, it's just Chopper." 

«What is that monster even  _ doing  _ on Yavin?»

"Monster? Yeah, I'm being violently snuggled over here." 

« _ You've  _ never had it attack your  _ face _ .»

"That was  _ this  _ lizard? Good job, little buddy!"

"Krrrp!"

«I hate you.»

"I know!"

* * *

"GONK."

" _ KSHHK! _ "

"GONK! GONK."

"Kssssh."

"GONK?"

"Krrr. Prrrp?"

"GONK."

"Rrrrrk."

* * *

«...and then I zapped two bucket-heads, pushed another one over the catwalk, and used my jets to escape.»

"Hssp."

«Calculating the hyperjump was tricky, since there were so many TIEs shooting at us, and—»

"Artoo-deetoo, what are you doing with that dangerous beast?"

«K-2SO was called into a briefing. He asked me to provide supervision and enrichment.»

"Pssk?"

"Oh, dear, I had heard about his pet but I'd hoped the rumors were exaggerated!"

«Hang on, C-2. What's wrong, 3PO?»

"'What's wrong?' What's wrong! This 'pet' is a dangerous animal that shouldn't be allowed on base! I've spoken to MED-10, and they said the creature's venom is toxic to fifty-eight sentient Galactic species!"

«They also, last I checked, had an antidote. Besides, she's only attacked hostiles.»

"So far."

«You worry too much.»

"I worry exactly the right amount!"

«Here, you should make friends. C-2, look. This is 3PO.»

"Ksp?"

«3PO. He's fussy and pedantic but we love him anyway.»

"Hmph. It will take more than  _ that  _ to win me over."

"Mrrmpk." 

"I suppose she's not that dangerous."

«Mm-hmm.»

"Hrrrrp!" 

"Oh, all right. I will refrain from filing a complaint."

«Knew you'd come around.»

" _ You _ can stop acting smug." 

«Here, hold her like this. She likes watching me manipulate objects.»

"No, I couldn't possibly—"

"Krrrrrrp?"

"Oh. Well. This is...acceptable for the time being." 

"Rrrrk!"

«Where was I? Right, the TIEs. I was calculating the jump and repairing the ship at the same time, but there was also the ion storm, and...»

* * *

The whirr of small wheels rolling fast. 

"KSSSSHK!"

A terrified, electronic squeal. Wheels spinning uselessly in the air.

"KSK! KSKK!"

"See-tu! No! We do not attack Em-ess-ee droids!"

Plaintive synthetic chitters.

"Krrrk!"

"No."

"Hsssk?"

"Still no." 

Inquisitive, defensive beeps.

"Do you require maintenance or repair?"

Descending beeps.

"Understood. I'm sorry she attacked you. I am attempting to train her not to attack rebel droids, but that is taking some time. However, I have had her fitted with a tracking chip. If you do not reveal its existence or transmission frequency to the organics, I will share that data with you so that she cannot surprise you again." 

A relieved whistle.

"Data package sent."

Beeps, clicks, and then the whirr of wheels retreating.

A sigh. "See-tu, there is plenty of hunting in the jungle, and you can eat your kills. You cannot eat droids."

"Krrr. Hsssk."

"I will take you outside. I'm sure you'll find something to ambush there."

"Krrrrrrp."

"I also feel affection for you, See-tu." 


End file.
